Friday, 6 August 2021

7/8/21 ^^^In dealing with obsession

 I don't see any harm with my infatuation in writing.  At most I sleep late occasionally.  The setback is I miss my exercise routine.

Other than that, the pros outweigh the cons.  I don't experience the various burnout symptoms that I experience if I play computer *[c]ame (game) or watching too much TV.  Honestly, I feel fine.

* I'm so glad to have you, Sarah.

Nothing for me to worry about.  Perhaps it is not normal behavior, but then again I am not a normal person and my life is not normal living.

I feel alive when I write.  As I said before, it is therapeutic.  Yes, it is an obsession.  Nevertheless, I don't experience any drawbacks.

So fuck it then...  I will continue writing.

Just like when I write to Els.  I feel fine.  Again I know it is an obsession.  Alas, it makes me feel good.

To a certain degree, it is understandable since I have a mental disorder.

Since I now know of my condition, I stay away from destructive habits like smoking and eating too much sugar.

What can I say?  It's not that I can choose *th[at] (the) package that I come in.

* Thank God I have you as my voice of reason Sarah...

What is the lesson here?  Welcome to my imperfect life.

You eat too much you have a disorder.

Your talk too much you have a disorder.

You write too much you have a disorder.

You exercise too much you have a disorder.

You THINK too much you have a disorder.

Fuck!  So what is not a disorder then?  It seems that anything in excess is a disorder.

Anything enjoyable should be in moderation.

Do you know what is the real issue here, Sarah?

I AM AN X-FACTOR!

How do I get away from that?

By design, I am a flamboyant person.  I push to the brink.  That is me!

Perhaps, what I should be concerned with is to not miss my sleep and exercise.

For that I need discipline.  I got to know when to quit when much is too much.

OK, let's establish that I should stop writing and reading by 9:00 pm and sleep by 9:30 pm as my practice in good sleep hygiene. 

mm

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